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Male seeking woman or couple. I want that. Not the panty sniffing of course, but more like the creepy obsession I want you to drink cheap beer with me and brush my hair and continuously tell me how pretty and funny I am in between lousy commercial breaks.
You will say all these things repeatedly because they are true, but you can think of some extras on your own. You should be obsessed with me because I'm awesome. You will need to laugh at all my jokes and never think that you're funnier than I am because chances are you're not.
You should be smart. Don't shorten words in text messages.
Autocorrect types it out for you! Actually, you shouldn't text me at all unless its something interesting or a reminder that I'm awesome and you're into me, because you know I hate texting and you wouldn't want me to resent you. That's serious stuff for me. Unless I'm drunk. In which case, you need to respond to my texts and s immediately. You shouldn't jump the gun and try to talk about sex before we meet, or even after that. You shouldn't do it until I talk about it.
And believe me, I will.
Just give it some time. Again, any business men into Ballston Lake New York women or alcohol induced by myself, not to say that you can get me drunk and that'll be enough. It'll happen like I'll go out without you, get drunk, and then want you to meet me and return me to the bar after. You should impress me because I am impressive. You should make me want to be around you and not get bored within x weeks.