|What is my age:||23|
I am referring to the vindictive ex. Let me explain. Some men and women take the resentment and anger they have for their spouse to another level: a level that is lower than the lowest of the low, the scum of the earth, and they exhibit some of the most despicable, disgusting behavior imaginable. In other words, they become vindictive in their behavior. Like most other divorced people, the vindictive ex has resentment, anger and bitterness. But the difference between he or she and a normal person is, the vindictive ex has a burning desire to punish or harm their ex.
They did fail. Their children were in the car with her when it happened. Fortunately, they did not get into an accident. The man has a very high net worth, by the way. He ended up calling the cell company and discontinuing service. He or she spends time scheming and concocting a strategy to destroy their ex because that is the only way they know how to deal with their hurt and anger. He or she could have been a real jerk and done unspeakably unforgivable things.
However, does that mean that the person deserves to have lies made up about them? Or that they deserve to die in a car accident? Is a kid better off with a dead mom than a mom that dad hates? So, if mom is telling them that dad is a sex offender, they are most likely going to be confused by it, and become afraid of their parent, when in reality, what they need most during and after a divorce is to feel intense love and attention from both parents.
So, the vindictive ex is taking a parent away from their children. This falls under the category of parental alienation, when one parent tries to turn the kids against the other parent because of personal hatred.
How to cope with a vindictive spouse
It happens so much more than you can imagine. So, their ex is already on the defensive from the start of the divorce. I have to believe a vindictive ex will at some point feel intense guilt by the cruel, destructive behavior or the lies they told—either consciously or subconsciously. Or, they will just have self-hatred, which never le to anything good for their future. The vindictive ex is never able to move past the divorce and so they never get to have an authentic life, enjoy life and new people, find love again, or feel good about themselves.
To the parent who is the victim of lies or who fears for their life, I want to say a few things. This is not overly dramatic or unnecessary. This is your life. And if God forbid something happens to you, a court of law has a very big first step in convicting your ex.
Secondly, if you think about it, anyone can makeup lies about anyone, hire an attorney and try to sue you or take your children away from you. So, if you are in a position where someone is making up lies about you, definitely consult with an attorney. Start with your divorce attorney and see what he or she says. You are too good for that. Just be you, be the best parent you can be, and keep moving forward with YOUR life. Let your vindictive ex wallow in his or her lies and deceit. Trust me, the vindictive ex hates him or herself a lot more than he or she hates you.
Keep being the good person you are, the caring, loving parent you are, and keep enjoying what you can control in your life. It is impossible for the vindictive ex to experience any of this. Want Financial Security After Divorce? Thinking About Divorce?
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Going Through a Divorce? Names You Need and Why. Guess What? Marriage and Second Marriage Advice. Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University.
Sadly the very comments my two stunning step-children are being told by their mother: your father has abandoned us, been disloyal to us, betrayed us, he is no longer part of our family. Sick comments especially if a good, honest man has not been part of an extra-marital affair. I am married to the most awesome man. We met almost a year after his divorce. Once the ex found out about the new partner, she began to hate her ex — the father of her children with whom she had shared a healthy co-parenting relationship.
Enter the new wife.
Her hatred has been openly and vocally been displayed for the children to see. She didnt want the children to meet me. I was not allowed to be in the car when my husband collected the children for his weekend visits, etc, etc, etc. Worst part is that young innocent impressionable young children see this, hear this, eat this, breathe this. Until they start to believe it.
Some examples of vindictive behavior include:
I can relate to your words beyond belief. I have never encountered anyone so deluded and bursting with hatred. It is truly tragic when someone hates more than they love. I too am going through something similar. The cost of paying down all the debt and trying to live has proven to be too difficult. All the while, having her boyfriend spend weekends in the house I bought and worked so hard for.
I understand you more than you think. I will pray for you and your daughters. Shame on your ex. She disgusts me. I have been going through these things with a vindictive ex wife. She has spread rumors and lies about my character, my mental health, my parenting, my professional abilities, and shared private distorted medical details verbally, in court and a great deal over social media.
She is now working to use the courts to enforce anyway, resulting in further destroyed credit, lost job opportunities passport taken by child supportdrivers revoked. She just got back from the Caribbean for a ten day trip with her wealthy boyfriend. I had lawyers, I can no longer afford. I am being evicted from my small apartment for non payment of rent.
I have nothing left, and she wants more. She has said outright her goal is to make my life a living hell. She has. Sounds great. But my ex originally did not want our daughters, he had no clue how to care for them and his pregnant mistress was just a kid herself. I made our way, built a life for us and 8 years later, wham! Out of nowhere. I mean he and his wife always tormented me, but i thought our girls saw that, I never thought that their visitations with dad had turned into hate-on-mom marathons, with their d wife drinking alcohol with them and creating an inappropriate relationship that was like a peer, but with the ability to permit her to do the immature things to venge oneself against mean mommy who just doesnt want you to have any fun.
Why us it so many people can not understand what it means to love yout. Now if they ever come around it will have to be under the terms of realizing how wrong it was for their dad to destroy me in court and even get THEM to enjoy watching me fall apart.
15 tips for dealing with a toxic ex-spouse when children are involved
He has not let me see them in almost 6 years. This just feels like death. How anyone could not see how easy it is for a vindictive parent to not care about their chid at all and use their teenaged angst to their advantage is the perfect example of what our courts promote to stir up litigation after years and settling in, and thinking you are finally going somewhere. Then you find out that our Constitution is a fairy tale. I have a couple of ex girlfriends. When I did. They did passive aggresive stunts like talking dirty to me, calling me good looking, a good kisser, wonderful. Then when they set their trap.